Secretly, many people are curious about what it’s like to be fat. I’m talking truly obese. Well, pull your chair closer; we’re gonna talk! I think I know what you’re looking for here, so let’s be brutally honest and lay it out as fact and fallacy.
Fallacy: Obese people don’t care about their weight and how they look.
What the…?! Obese people absolutely care about how they look (well-groomed and fashionista heavy people are everywhere) and about their weight. Issues inside their heads keep them eating much like the alcoholic needs a drink and the heroin addict needs a fix. Using a substance like food to make life easier, better or bearable is not a new issue. Discovering that food is the self-medication is the new idea. And yes, food can be physiologically addicting, too. Foods high in sugar, fat, salt or super-flavors (chemically enhanced yummy “stuff”) can leave the body begging for more or stubbornly holding on to pounds. Genetics, diseases and medications can cause weight gain as well. Obese people care very much about how they look and feel. They care about their weight but many times suffer from a deep “need” as much as or more so than other addicts. Some have fallen victim to the genetics, diseases and medications excuses and have given their lives over completely to that. Problem is, we obese wear our addictions and maladies for all to see. The buffet is the bar; everything on it can be heaven for an hour! No matter what the reason for being fat, at one time or another (or even all the time) we hate it and loathe it. We’re not free to roam about the earth like the other creatures! We’re deemed “unclean” in most arenas and literally don’t physically fit into the others!
Fact: Obese people have let themselves go.
I’m going to agree with this, but not in the way you may think. Obese people have lost who they truly are somewhere along life’s journey and have traded in their authentic selves to please others ,please a society or culture, or become something they feel is better than who they already are (This is sad- they seldom see they’re already fabulous people!). As they slowly let go of themselves, they replace their souls with bites of food. And no, they’re not lazy and good for nothing. They’ve traded in their life for something else and not only end up heavy, but sitting on the couch in a deep depression as well. Know that the person eating buckets of food on the couch can’t get up because not only is lifting all that weight exhausting, that exhaustion isn’t just physical; it’s exhaustion of the soul as well.
Fallacy: Obese people don’t know how to lose weight.
Oh, honey! Don’t be naïve! Quit telling heavy folks how to lose weight. They know the calories in every bite of food from artichokes to lasagna- the carbs in every product- bread, sodies, and even green beans! They know more about burning calories than an Olympic athlete. They know how to lose 10 pounds in 10 days and 100 in 12 months. They know that a person should take the stairs, park far away from the store and walk at least 11,000 steps a day. They could probably quit their day jobs to become dieticians and trainers! They’ve been on Atkins, South Beach, Weight Watchers, Nutri-system, The Stewardess Diet, The Soup Diet, The Detox-Diet, Liquid-diets, The HCG diet, The Belly-Fat Diet, blah, blah, blah. The point is- weight loss for the obese isn’t about calories in and calories out; it’s about changing the mind, the emotions, the beliefs and ultimately the thinking.
Fact: Obese people are highly aware they are the “elephant in the room”.
An often heard snicker, “Does he know how awful he looks?!” Yup! We do. That’s a big affirmative! The first choice would be to stay home (and many of us do). The second choice is to venture out and be ridiculed (and many of us are). Now admit it- you’ve commented on how horrible someone looks, yes?! Know this: we hear you when you talk and see you when you nudge and snicker. It hurts, too. We wish everyone could see the fabulous person under the layers of fat. I told you I was going to be brutally honest! Get over it.
Fallacy: Fat people have accepted their fate and don’t want to change.
Obese people do want to lose weight, but most try doing it through exercise, diet, will power and life-change instead of mind-change. There are some folks who choose to go under the knife as a last resort. These are all useful tools not solutions.
Fact: Comments hurt: Let me point out a touchy subject: When heavy folk are sitting with the lean folk and the lean folk complain about getting fat or being fat it is an incredibly hurtful situation. Please role reverse and think about this for a minute. When the lean folk say, “Oh my gosh, I’m getting fat!” or “Do you think I look fat?!” Or “ I can’t eat that; I’ll don’t want to get fat!” All the heavy-weights hear is, “Oh, I don’t want to become disgusting and worthless- like you!”
Now take a moment to shake it off and chuckle a little bit about how neurotic we can all be and let's move on! I’m not a proponent of negative thinking or dwelling on negative topics; it makes a person inert. Let's move forward. The subject of my next post: F is for Fabulous! Aha- inspiration!
