F is for Fat...It's for Fabulous, too!

Secretly, many people are curious about what it’s like to be fat.  I’m talking truly obese.  Well, pull your chair closer; we’re gonna talk!  I think I know what you’re looking for here, so let’s be brutally honest and lay it out as fact and fallacy.

Fallacy:  Obese people don’t care about their weight and how they look.

What the…?!  Obese people absolutely care about how they look (well-groomed and fashionista heavy people are everywhere) and about their weight.  Issues inside their heads keep them eating much like the alcoholic needs a drink and the heroin addict needs a fix.  Using a substance like food to make life easier, better or bearable is not a new issue.  Discovering that food is the self-medication is the new idea.  And yes, food can be physiologically addicting, too.  Foods high in sugar, fat, salt or super-flavors (chemically enhanced yummy “stuff”) can leave the body begging for more or stubbornly holding on to pounds.  Genetics, diseases and medications can cause weight gain as well.  Obese people care very much about how they look and feel.  They care about their weight but many times suffer from a deep “need” as much as or more so than other addicts.  Some have fallen victim to the genetics, diseases and medications excuses and have given their lives over completely to that.  Problem is, we obese wear our addictions and maladies for all to see.  The buffet is the bar; everything on it can be heaven for an hour!  No matter what the reason for being fat, at one time or another (or even all the time) we hate it and loathe it.  We’re not free to roam about the earth like the other creatures!  We’re deemed “unclean” in most arenas and literally don’t physically fit into the others!

Fact:  Obese people have let themselves go.

I’m going to agree with this, but not in the way you may think.  Obese people have lost who they truly are somewhere along life’s journey and have traded in their authentic selves to please others ,please a society or culture, or become something they feel is better than who they already are (This is sad-  they seldom see they’re already fabulous people!).  As they slowly let go of themselves, they replace their souls with bites of food.  And no, they’re not lazy and good for nothing.  They’ve traded in their life for something else and not only end up heavy, but sitting on the couch in a deep depression as well.  Know that the person eating buckets of food on the couch can’t get up because not only is lifting all that weight exhausting, that exhaustion isn’t just physical; it’s exhaustion of the soul as well.  

Fallacy:  Obese people don’t know how to lose weight.

Oh, honey!  Don’t be naïve!  Quit telling heavy folks how to lose weight.  They know the calories in every bite of food from artichokes to lasagna-  the carbs in every product- bread, sodies, and even green beans!  They know more about burning calories than an Olympic athlete.  They know how to lose 10 pounds in 10 days and 100 in 12 months.  They know that a person should take the stairs, park far away from the store and walk at least 11,000 steps a day.  They could probably quit their day jobs to become dieticians and trainers!  They’ve been on Atkins, South Beach, Weight Watchers, Nutri-system, The Stewardess Diet, The Soup Diet, The Detox-Diet, Liquid-diets, The HCG diet, The Belly-Fat Diet, blah, blah, blah.  The point is- weight loss for the obese isn’t about calories in and calories out; it’s about changing the mind, the emotions, the beliefs and ultimately the thinking.

Fact:  Obese people are highly aware they are the “elephant in the room”.

An often heard snicker, “Does he know how awful he looks?!”  Yup!  We do.  That’s a big affirmative!  The first choice would be to stay home (and many of us do).  The second choice is to venture out and be ridiculed (and many of us are).  Now admit it-  you’ve commented on how horrible someone looks, yes?!  Know this: we hear you when you talk and see you when you nudge and snicker. It hurts, too.  We wish everyone could see the fabulous person under the layers of fat.  I told you I was going to be brutally honest!  Get over it.

Fallacy:  Fat people have accepted their fate and don’t want to change.

Obese people do want to lose weight, but most try doing it through exercise, diet, will power and life-change instead of mind-change.  There are some folks who choose to go under the knife as a last resort.   These are all useful tools not solutions.

Fact:  Comments hurt: Let me point out a touchy subject: When heavy folk are sitting with the lean folk and the lean folk complain about getting fat or being fat it is an incredibly hurtful situation.  Please role reverse and think about this for a minute.  When the lean folk say, “Oh my gosh, I’m getting fat!” or “Do you think I look fat?!”  Or “ I can’t eat that; I’ll don’t want to get fat!”  All the heavy-weights hear is, “Oh, I don’t want to become disgusting and worthless-  like you!”

Now take a moment to shake it off and chuckle a little bit about how neurotic we can all be and let's move on!  I’m not a proponent of negative thinking or dwelling on negative topics; it makes a person inert.  Let's move forward.  The subject of my next  post:  F is for Fabulous!  Aha- inspiration!

News Flash! Woman Caught in Diet Mentality Trap!

I’ve planned and written my positive self-talk scripts for almost every personal habit change scenario possible.  So imagine my shock when I was caught off guard and completely blind-sided by becoming a dieter!  Yes, my weight-loss and optimum health plan has been so successful that I got sucked into believing that perhaps I should put together an even better action plan for myself and get fit faster along with shedding pounds at lightning speed!  My optimum health plan started evolving and morphing from a habit and behavior change plan to a get-thin-quick diet plan!  AHHHH!  Unbelievable.  The scary entity grew like a science lab creature in those 50’s horror films! (Insert footage of screaming woman here!)

 

Here’s what happened:  I saw pounds dropping as my behaviors changed and the way I thought about food changed.  My love of exercise grew and I threw off my use of food to solve problems and comfort me. As the pounds started dropping I became more interested in the movement on the scale than the fact that I wasn’t “using” food.  I failed to give recognition to my successful thinking and behavior changes.  Soon my excitement in becoming the new “me” became misdirected and I found myself looking closely at carbs, calories and diet tricks.  All the time I was telling myself that perhaps I would “diet” just for a few days for the fun of it and really drop some extra pounds. Before I knew it I started having cravings for foods and was becoming frustrated and conflicted.  I began counting calories so I could have more of the foods I started to deem as “forbidden”.  I started setting unrealistic goals for myself and before I knew it I was dieting and being tossed to and fro in the stormy seas all dieters face-  hating exercise yet feeling tied to it, craving food and eating bare calories and carbs at the same time, striving to be thin and in shape.  It was a nightmare!  On top of it all I became stressed, depressed and overwhelmed by many other aspects of my life.  I became negative and grumpy and loved wallowing in it and pulling others into the mud pit with me!  Yup, all a recipe for disaster.  

Thank heaven I received a tap on my shoulder and the disaster was averted.  As I was in the midst of a diet frenzy (exactly like a great white shark!), I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder and one of my sensible little voices calmly said, “Hey, what are you doing?”  I recognized the voice as one of my habit change scripts telling me that I am free from using food as a super-hero and free from dieting as a misdirected attempt to solve problems, so what was I doing?!  I suddenly remembered that dieting isn’t the cure for being obese.  Dieting is a tool that can be as misused as prescription drugs!  I came to my senses as if slapped in the face, but not without feeling a bit humiliated that I’d wandered off the path and fallen into a trap that I knew was there all along!  I’m lucky that I held my ground and didn’t derail myself-   because I was close!  On second thought, it wasn’t luck at all; it all worked out because I stopped myself, held the ground I'd already won, reassessed, readjusted and readdressed.  You see I'd previously taught those clever little voices what to do and say and thankfully they pulled through and tapped me on the shoulder! Whew! Two months in, close to 20 pounds down and feeling the strength of soul and body! Wahooo! You can do it too!

Hold the Ground You've Already Won!

Hold the ground you’ve already won!

Don’t be thrown off track when your best laid plans seem derailed! The world of life change isn’t a fantasy land where fairy tales naturally have happy endings and all is well.  It’s a world of reality where goals are outlined, scripts written and the best of plans set into action; and all are at the mercy of your own thoughts, actions and emotions.  The happy ending is there for the taking, but it is usually not a natural occurrence, in fact it’s quite unnatural to step outside of long held beliefs, behaviors and actions and move to a different space.  It can seem like traveling to a new planet where everything is foreign and confusing.

 

Confusion begins when a battle seems to ensue between wanting to change old toxic habits and clawing to hold on to them. We feel like we are split personalities: one personality tells us to do what we’ve always done and run to the places we feel most comfortable.  The other tells us that the places we’ve always sought refuge in the past aren’t comfortable places at all.  They’re dark dens where we can have only a few moments or hours of numbing ourselves from our toxic beliefs and actions before we’re launched back into the glaring light and the reality that we haven’t changed, we haven’t moved; we're inert…or worse-  we’re slipping slowly backwards... 

Realize this confusion is going to happen.  This will happen.  Traveling to a place of change-  the new planet if you will, does NOT feel natural so don’t let it take you by surprise. Once you understand this dynamic the battle isn’t so terrifying.  The conflict part IS natural, so hold the ground you’ve already won.  Rather than brutally fighting, be gentle with yourself.  Calm yourself. Draw on the non-negotiable terms from your action plan.  Become acutely aware of your own entrenched behaviors as they emerge.  Awareness is the key to realizing that you are not failing when you feel conflicted.  You are still on board and you are still in charge of your own thinking and your own decisions.  You control how it all goes down so don’t waste precious energy blindly fighting your way through it. Understand it for what it is so you can make a truce and hold the ground you’ve already won while you reassess, readdress, readjust and then progress forward in making your habit change once again.       

 

 

Plan Before You Jump In

We obese folks are only too familiar with this scenario- “I’m sick and tired of being fat.  I’m going to start a diet on Monday!”   Then we binge on wings, chips, chocolate, cookies and ice cream, the forbidden foods of the coming week.  As we binge we sort through the old work-out videos and find the hardest kick-butt DVDs we can.   We set them aside for Monday and go back to frenzied eating.  As we eat the last of the fried chicken we sit down to create a list of no-nos for the coming few months.  No treats!  No sodies!  No carbs!  Not until we lose 50 lbs!  We go to the grocery store and buy an armful of magazines with articles about all the latest tricks and tips.  We spend hours Googling easy ways to lose weight. Then back to eating our “last supper”…  Monday comes and we all know the rest of the story. If we do succeed for awhile it’s only temporary, because our plan was made to last only until a specified point in time or until a certain weight is reached or until it is totally derailed by unrealistic and punishing parameters.  The plan wasn’t a plan at all, it was just another attempt to brutally control our calories, magically become an athlete overnight and temporarily live a life completely out of our normal realm of living.  Hence-  failure.  Success comes from planning before the plan and realizing weight loss isn’t about food, it’s about how we think about food and our thinking habits.  Make a plan before the plan.  Here’s how.

 

First, reflect on why food has become your rescue buddy and how you use it to cure what ails you.  Be specific, so you’ll understand how your habitual thinking will kick in and lure you into “using.”  This may take a few days, a few weeks, maybe longer.  Be acutely aware what’s happening whenever you eat.  Ask yourself why you’re eating and what the food is doing for you.  Are you using it as a companion…as a mini-vacation…to avoid a deep emotion…as a reward…to celebrate…?  Once you see how you use food as a super hero you can take a deep breath and see the real value in food-  to nourish in delicious ways.  

Second, fall in love with whole food.  Discover which nourishing foods you love to eat and free yourself from mediocre foods, foods you’re just putting up with, and processed foods mostly made in a chemistry lab.  Walk down the produce aisle and scope out which foods really make your mouth water.  Make them the key nutrients in your life.  Start eating them, cooking with them and brewing up tantalizing recipe creations before you even finish putting the final touches on your weight-loss action plan.  Fall in love before you start the action plan.  

Third, realize you won’t ever need to binge again because you can always eat what you’re in the mood for whenever you want.  And do it.  When you do, have a pleasing portion and savor every delicious bite.  You won’t need to have giant portion after portion after portion because you don’t need to binge- you can have the same food again as soon as you’re in the mood!  When you’re in the mood again ask yourself if you only want the food because you’re viewing it as a “bad” food that you must have (and panicking), or if you really do want to taste the exquisite deliciousness.  Back off until another day if you’re only eating because you’re panicking.  Remind yourself- I can eat whatever I want when I want!  

Fourth, create lectures to have with your habitual thinking, your little ponies as I like to call them, for when they buck up against your new self-talk and your new views about food.  These ponies represent how you are accustomed to reacting when driven by specific emotions.  Create Firm and positive lectures to lead each little pony back to the corral through your new neural pathway.  Once you’ve trained, you will look into the corral and the ponies will be nowhere in sight, having run off into the deep recesses of the gray matter mountains…    

Fifth, choose exercise activities that you love and that fit in your schedule.  If you only have a half an hour a day, choose exercise that exhilarates you for that half hour.  Throw or give away all the DVD’s you never liked. Shelve the ones that are too advanced for you.  Start at a level where you can succeed and with a routine that really turns you on! 

Sixth, write a plan using a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy template such as I used.  Once you write the plan think about it for a few days; don’t implement it at once, mull it over, reflect, make sure you are passionate and happy with your plan (the template I used is found in my first post: The Kick-off Post and-  it can be used for any life change.).  Have an emotional investment in your plan.  Each piece had better excite you.  If not, keep creating. 

Sixth, change your thinking.  Write a self-talk script that includes your new view of food, exercise and weight-loss (see my post: Writing a New Script for Your Inner Voice).  Write it with a positive slant and an attitude of gratitude.  Load that baby with sincere passion! Adopt it, take it to heart, read it until you have it loosely memorized.  Repeat it morning, noon and night. This is the way you will build new neural pathways in your brain and change deeply entrenched habitual thinking about how horribly hard weight loss is, how depriving a change in diet can be, and how you won’t be an optimum person until you are thin!

Seventh, implement your plan with joy and excitement!  This is your plan, personal and specific.  It isn’t a diet!  It’s a plan for optimum health and it’s all yours! Embrace it and feel the love, baby. 

Eighth, remember your plan is a living and breathing thing.  Make changes as you come across ideas for improvement.  Recalibrate as you see fit.  

Ninth, include only positive people in your support group.  Spend minimal time with anyone who’s going to talk about “dieting,” “calories," “diet foods” and the “how-tos” of it all.  After all, this is your habit changing plan of excellence, your creation, your baby-  not some DIET!

Writing a New Script for Your Inner Voice!

Writing a new script for your inner voice! Out with the old, in with the new.

When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.  You either accept the thoughts, beliefs and speech running through your head, or you decide to change them. Accept or decide, period.  That’s all we do; accept or decide. When you accept, you stay the same.  Deciding requires action. Action is prompted by one of three reasons to look at your life script:  The Crystallizing Moment, The Emotional Jolt or The Choice. 

 

The Crystallizing moment is that moment either in time or over time when you realize you are not living the life you want, being the person you were meant to be, or being your own authentic self.  A person may experience a crystallizing moment sitting in jail for the third time on a DUI charge-  without money, without a job, with quickly disintegrating relationships.  Doing more than contemplating a change, The Crystallizing Moment actually prompts the person to take an action, to no longer accept what they’ve created in their life, but to decide instead of accept.  They are no longer willing to say, “This is just who I am.”

 

An Emotional Jolt launches you into a vastly different universe than the one you now live in.  Suddenly becoming blind, or a quadriplegic, or a widower propels a person out of the life now lived and into an unknown realm.  At this point the reality is you must choose a new action for your life script-  what you knew of your old life is gone.  This jolt creates a paradigm in which you are forced to acknowledge and confront the life you have lived, the person you have been and your own authenticity.  The jolt precedes a vast emptiness and a starting point for writing a new life script.  The question becomes, “Who am I now?” 

Making The Choice to write a new script for your world is optimum; it doesn’t require a crystallizing moment or an emotional jolt.  This is just that glorious day when you realize that, “Nothing happens until something moves.” (Einstein).  You are willing to take a look at your thoughts and beliefs and open up to possibilities.  You are excited to move away from the shore and discover something new.  Your vessel to the new discovery is your script.  You can define yourself by saying, “I am…” 

Writing a new script with the goal of new thoughts and new beliefs is thrilling and challenging.  There are 4 steps. 

1) Become aware that every thought and belief running through your head is an amalgamation of your experiences, society, family, culture, religion and definitions.  You’ve collected and decided which thoughts to claim, which reactions to assign to events and the power it will have over you.

2) Free yourself from serving your thoughts and look at what you have left.  This is a safari to find your authentic you.  You can do this by turning away from comparing, complaining, critiquing, categorizing (people), competing (not talking sports and contests here!), blaming or explaining (commentating on why you do what you do-  who cares! You are the important person here.).

3) Write an actual script for your life or for a specific event (like weight-loss).

The script should be carefully crafted with intention and a positive spin.  The script you write will dominate your thinking, so create something you love. Keep your verbiage positive: Use the words free from instead of I won’t . Replace words like hard with challenging or effort .  Write it as a reality using I am instead of I want.  Let me show you an example of two scripts.  The first is written in the negative.  Picture, if you will, each thought digging a neural trench in your brain that will eventually become a habit thought and then a reality.  Science has proven it to be so. 

Negative script:  I want to lose 100 lbs.  I will work-out every day and not eat more than 1300 calories daily.  I won’t have any bad foods except on a cheat day once a week.  No sodas, except diet cola.  Once I lose weight I’ll look hot, have new confidence and succeed.

 

Let’s dissect this bad-boy script sentence by sentence: First, “I want to lose 100 lbs.”  There you are yearning and yearning and wanting and hoping to lose 100 lbs.  Doesn’t sound like a winner of a sentence to me.  Dig, dig, dig that gray matter trench telling yourself that this is forever a yearning matter.  So you’re saying it might not happen, but you’ll certainly yearn for it.  Second, “I will work-out every day and not eat more than 1300 calories daily.” In my opinion the word work-out is just plain exhausting and to sentence yourself to “not eat more than 1300 calories daily” conjures up visions of prison!  This whole sentence sounds like you should place the words or else at the end along with some damning punishment.  Get out the bullwhip!  Third sentence:  “I won’t have any bad foods except on a cheat day once a week.”  By now you’re probably getting the gist of this.  “Bad foods-” I didn’t know food could be bad or good!  I’ve never seen a food on death row for committing murder nor have I seen one winning a humanitarian award.  Hmmm, guess this is food for thought (pun intended).  And what do you make of “cheat day.”   Does this indicate you hate and are tied to your regular foods like an old ball and chain?  That once a week you have to sneak out with the ever alluring and fascinating food that really understands you like your regular food can’t?  Fourth sentence:  “No sodas, except diet cola-”  back again to crime and punishment. ‘Nuff said. Fifth sentence:  “Once I lose weight I’ll look hot, have new confidence and succeed.”  Before you write a script, contemplate this last sentence first and understand that you have uniquely fantastic aspects about you that already make you “hot”; that you can be confident in your many talents whatever you weigh and that success is defined by you not anyone around you. So, this negative script sure makes weight-loss sound exciting and fun, eh?  Boy, I’m sure anyone would look forward to reading it every day!  Actually most of us don’t need to read it, we’ve memorized and repeated it year after year and diet after diet.  Now let me share a positive script example with you, my positive optimum health script. I wrote this after I made my plan for optimum health.   

My positive script:  I love my whole foods.  I love my veggies, fruits and proteins.  I love drinking refreshing water.  I love training and putting every effort toward the exhilaration of the powerful movements.  I love cardio and the joy of purposeful exhilarating movement.  I love eating just right portions and eyeballing nourishing calories toward weight-loss.  I love and am grateful for my body being back to the authentic me!  I love and am grateful for strength, energy and confidence of mind, body and soul.  I am lean and ripped with a muscular body free from obesity.  I am free from using food as my cure for anything.  I love my body and I love being in it.  I love inspiring others to make habit changes as well. 

This is my script and mine alone; it’s very personal.  I used verbiage that really gets me going.  It includes everything I believe to already be true and some new thoughts taking me up the path to success.  Write your script for you and you alone.  You know what jacks you up, what rings your bell, what motivates you positively, what you have decided to change and how uniquely fantastic you are-  so write the script; run it through your head constantly and dig, dig, dig a positive neural trench. It takes from 66 to 300 days to change a habit (thinking).  So change your thinking, change your weight.

But wait!  What if you believe all this scripting is a bunch of voodoo hoo-haw?!  Well, go back to noticing how powerful your thoughts are and how they drive you to the habits you already cling to.  Start there and see if you love sitting in the trench you’ve already dug.  Let me end with this-  I heard a woman at a conference once commenting on positive self-talk scripts.  She said she created a script toward positive change and read it a few times a day with much skepticism.  Every day she felt foolish reading her script, but she tried to be open-minded and willing.  One day she had a great epiphany.  She thought, “Wait a minute, this really is possible!”  Realizing just that one thing-  that her changes were possible  opened the flood-gates to new thinking and toward her success.  Accept or decide, that’s what you get to do.  You create it all!

What to do with a Whacked Out Week!

What to do with a Whacked Out Week! 

What do you do when you have a whacked out week?!  A conference, day light savings time, a trip, your birthday, getting sick.  That was my week, last week! Whacked out!  So what do you do with a whacked out week?  You’ve got to plan ahead of time for all these occasions ‘cause the habit ponies you think are safely put out to pasture, are going to eagerly run to the gate of their corral kicking up their heels, snorting, bucking and pawing at the gate to get out and stampede!  It is easy to fall back into old thinking habits when something gets you off your game.  You just want to saddle up one of those babies and ride off into the sunset. 

Plan, plan, plan.  This is the answer.  Every overweight person, unable to lose weight in the past, knows that an optimum health plan can be completely derailed (sometimes for good!), when unplanned surprises and munching opportunities appear on the horizon.  Just remember (and really plant this in your head), it isn’t about the food-  it’s about the thought habit. It’s about how you use food to be your hero.  It’s habitual thinking about food.  Now, here are the plans I created and recalibrated to take on my very own whacked out week. 

1) A conference

Our university hosted a 3-day advisors conference which I attended.  My first decision concerning how to eat and continue with my optimum health plan, was to ignore the foods, go for the salad, bring my own snacks and hang on for dear life.  After I calmed down and came to, I realized that sort of plan was all about the food, not about my thinking habit.  I would essentially be making myself a white-knuckler (skinny folks who count every calorie and are obsessed with food just as much as we obese people are. The difference being, they don’t eat it-  in fact, they deny themselves.) Not wanting to trade in obesity for white-knuckling, since it isn’t a trade at all; they’re the same thing, I thought it over rationally and went with a better plan.  The plan to enjoy the delicious food I was served.  After all, food can be yummy-  right?  I planned to enjoy food for the taste and to feed me, not my food habit.  I honed in on the habit I knew could turn into a bucking pony: eating food to make a good time fabulous.  I knew that’s what I had to watch out for, the “fabulousness of celebratory eating” binge, not the food.  Understand that I am aware of the nutrition value in the foods I eat, that’s why I chose to go with 80% whole foods when I started this plan, so I keep that in mind (no obsessions, though! Wow, there are so many ways to obsess about food!) when eating.  Here’s how it all turned out:  I loved every morsel I ate-  the salads were crisp, cold and fresh-  the best!  I lingered over a buttery wheat roll that just melted in my mouth. At lunch, I was given a piece of chocolate cheesecake that looked good, but it didn’t look like cheesecake that would make my very soul sing with angels, so I passed it by. At dinner, I slowly and deliberately took my soul to meet that heavenly choir with a piece of Dutch oven cobbler and Dutch oven raspberry brownie matched with ice cold gourmet vanilla ice cream- yes, baby!  One time I had to muzzle my pony-  he wanted more than one chocolate chip cookie at snack time.  He kept bucking and braying, “Have more, have more, you’re at a conference-  this is a mini-vacation!  Haaaaaaaaavvvvvveeeee MOOOORRRREEEE!”   I had to firmly take him by the ear to the back of the room and explain to him three things: first, the chocolate chip cookie was not that good and I only eat food that is delicious and food that I love. Only the crown jewels are good enough for my plate!  Second, the conference is really fun; food cannot make an event more fun, that’s a cultural belief.  Third, I can have a delicious chocolate chip cookie any time I want to go track one down, so no need to invest my taste buds in the moderately tasty ones.  Well, he rubbed his sweet little ear and went back to the corral.  Yup, some of the food at the conference was delicious!  And I enjoyed every morsel.  It’s our thinking we have to tame; not food. 

 2) A trip and a birthday

I celebrated my birthday while on a stupendous trip to my sister’s house.  As a loving sister will, she had several of my favorite whole foods on hand-  like boiled eggs and fruit ( just love those eggs with sea salt and ground pepper, yum!  How do you like your eggs?)  We chose a local Mexican restaurant for my birthday dinner.  I had a steaming, mouth-watering chili relleno and a shredded beef enchilada.  The restaurant is known far and wide for its delicious fare so I knew in advance I was getting crown jewels.  I skipped the rice, it looked pretty run-of-the mill, but the chips and salsa were of the highest quality, so I partook.  And, no regrets, why regret eating and enjoying the food you love?  I happily admit-  I really do enjoy the many flavors, textures, spices and nuances of food now, so I tend to eat very slowly, enjoying the food, tasting it, savoring every morsel- unlike the old days when my mind told me to shovel it in and I obeyed.  My old thinking was, if some is good then more is better!  Sadly, I missed the opportunity to savor the marvelous flavors.  I get more delight out of smaller portions now than I ever got out of the larger portions I ate in the past.  This because now I actually taste the food before it goes down, instead of catching brief moments of goodness while loaded spoonfuls of food would whiz over my tongue on the way to my stomach like a kid on a water slide!  Fascinating to think that stomach-stretching mounds of untasted food were so wasted.  It’s all about the thinking-  more helpings don’t make food more fabulous.  Savoring makes food more fabulous (and tastier!).   In fact, my brother-in-law made pancakes for breakfast one morning and curiosity got the best of me-  does a homemade pancake taste good without syrup?  Have I been missing the taste of the pancake by using it as a vehicle to carry syrup?  I tried one without butter and syrup and by cranky it was delicious!  I would’ve never known had I not tried it (our culture says pancakes have to have butter and syrup-  get out of the box would ya-  try new things!) It was pure delight with a side of bacon! 

3) Daylight savings time and being sick

Insert a sigh right here and right now.  Both of these changes to the average week make a person feel tired and run down.  So pamper, pamper, pamper.  No need to adjust food to compensate.  Food won’t give you back one hour more of sleep; food won’t stroke your head or give you a foot massage when you’re sick.  Point is-  it’s all about those thought processes we use to make food our rescue buddies.  Getting used to daylight savings time will take the body a few days.  All the sugar carbs and caffeine in the world won’t change that.  Pampering yourself while sick may mean taking a languishing bath ( I like to shower until the hot water turns cold), whining a bit to a best friend, or indulging in hours of movies, video games or books.  Raw cookie dough from the grocery store won’t mystically turn into the healing waters of Lourdes. 

 

So, how does one plan for a whacked out week?  Don’t make a plan-  at least not a new plan; stay with the action plan you created for weight-loss before you came across the whacked out week- have an understanding of your own thinking and how much power you give it.  Don’t make it about the food-  understand the way you think about the food (and why).  The only preparation you need is to know what you’ll tell your bucking pony if he goes postal!

 

Post Script:  I lost 2 lbs during my Whacked Out Week.  Sorry, little pony.

 

 

 

 

 

 

What You Think About Expands

You already are what you’re thinking.  And you are expanding and using powerful thought every day you live. This is why recognizing then changing thought patterns (habits) is based on changing the powerful thought behind the habit.  Don’t believe it?  Let’s talk about how powerful our thoughts are.  Have you ever been safely tucked into your own little bed at night and suddenly noticed the closet door is cracked-  in the closet you see ominous darkness-  even a shadow or two…and perhaps something else…what is that “thing” lurking in the closet, silently staring out at you, waiting for you to fall asleep so it can slink toward you?!…your heart starts to beat, you pull up the covers to shield yourself from heaven knows what; your breath is quick and shallow-  you reach for the light and snap it on.  Your very thoughts created enough fright to raise your heartbeat, quicken your breathing and suck you into believing something was going to GET YOU!  And it was all about nothing- pure fiction of the mind.  Now that’s power!  Or how about this- you text someone who is traveling, they don’t answer right away.  That’s all right- you don’t want them texting and driving.  But time goes by; they don’t return the text.  You start thinking, they should’ve made a fuel stop by now…time goes on and still no text.  Your mind starts to race- worry sets in.  Soon you’ve decided they’ve had car trouble.  Time passes and you just know they’ve been in an accident.  As you fret and pace more and more terrible thoughts creep into your mind.  The thoughts keep expanding until suddenly you’re planning a funeral!  And boy, are you angry when they call later to apologize and tell you their phone died.  Yup, we’ve all been victims of our own powerful thinking.

These two examples may have you laughing and nodding your head in agreement- yes, you’ve experienced thoughts like these.  Well, know that you have powerful thoughts deeply ingrained in your very being that keep you holding tight to habits, too.  You’ll need to become acutely aware of your thinking so you can slam the door shut on negative thoughts and take a complete paradigm shift toward freeing yourself from your undesirable powerful self-talk (habits).  Here’s a great starting point:  Take a day or two to notice two things:  the negative talk that comes out of the mouths of people around you, and your own negative self-talk.

Look at some of the negative self-talk (thoughts) I’ve heard from people recently-  just my luck…argh, it’s Monday!...I’m too old…it’s too hard…this is who I am…you can’t teach an old dog new tricks…I’ve never been any good at that…why me?!  Fascinating, isn’t it?  Take a listen for yourself. It’s actually almost amusing.

Now, how about your own self-talk (thoughts)?  Since I’m specifically blogging about gaining optimum health, let me highlight the negatives we obese people have used to help us fail at weight loss in the past.  I hate dieting…I can’t wait until this diet is over…I can ONLY eat 1000 calories a day…I can’t have anything I want to eat!...this is so hard!...this exercise DVD is too hard…I look stupid working out…I’ll never be able to do this…this is going so slow…why me…I ate more than my planned calorie intake-  I’m such a loser…so-and-so looks so much better than me…I am deprived…I’ve gotta get some willpower…this is NO FUN!  Any of these sound familiar?  Dig, dig, dig that brain trench habit. You know what-  all of these things become truth because your thinking makes it so. 

May I suggest you become excited about your health and wellness plan- and love it!  Change your negative thoughts to positive thoughts. Frame your very thinking to entrench positive grooves in your brain.  Let’s use me as an example:  I’m excited about gaining optimum health (notice I don’t use the word diet; to me, it has a negative connotation.  This isn’t about “losing” weight it’s about “gaining” health).  I decided in advance to eat foods I love (every time I eat I get to say, “Yum, yum this is great!”).  I planned ahead of time to choose exercise routines that excite me (when I exercise I get to say, “Yeah baby, this kicks butt!  I’m getting strong!”).  When I legitimately want a treat I savor each little bite and really indulge in the delectable goodness of the morsel (again with the “yum, yum” stuff).  As you see, I framed everything in positive self-talk because I love what I’m doing and am excited for my success.  I created it to be this way- and so it is.  Dig, dig, dig that positively wonderful brain trench habit!

I’m excited to share self-talk scripting with you in a future blog.  Now create a great day for yourself-  and dig!  

The Weekly Diary

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3/3/2013

Power walked 50 min to Forsythe trailhead, snowy, muddy.

Wheat toast 100

2 eggs 120

2 turkey bacon 50

Avocado 50

Mocha drink 40

Raisins 41

Wheat bread 100

Organic peanut butter 94

Salmon 210

Broccoli w butter 160

Choc milk for recovery  140

Melted cheese 1 wheat bread 140

Cutie 35 (these can be frozen, so can blackberries!)

1280 approx calories

 3/4/2013, weight 211

High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) 30 min

Oatmeal, milk, butter, banana 240

Choc milk for recovery 140

Salmon sandwich, hummus, spinach, sprouts, wheat brd 349

Carrot 12

Pickle 5

3 mini tacos, carnitas 350

Cheese curd 110

1206 approx calories

3/5/2013

Cardio 60 min

Breakfast burrito 300

Sweet tea 200

Apple 70

Boiled egg 60

Avocado, veggie wheat (Kneaders) 300

Fruit tea, unsweetened 90

Peanut butter on wheat 280

1300 approx calories

3/6/2013, weight 210

HIIT 30 min

Maple, brn sugar oatmeal w turkey bacon 235

Mocha drink 90

Tomatillo 60

Chicken noodle soup 130

Salmon salad 160

½-ish Hershey bar 104

Not hungry- cool!  Wanted chocolate. Got it.

Choc milk 100

1459 Wrote script. Smiled!

3/7/2013, weight 210

Cardio 30 min

Turkey bacon 50

Avocado slice 100

2 wheat toast 100

Mocha drink 80

Whopper Jr 340

Raspberry tea 103

Subway 6" turkey 280

Organic Jalapeño chips 150

1233 approx calories

3/8/2013

Arizona green tea 70 ( high fructose: FYI, this causes sugar cravings)

Breakfast burrito 300

Hershey bar 125

Shrimp fajita 350

Guac 100

Jalapeño cheese 110

Salmon 210

Fruit 60

1255

3/9/2013

Banana 75

Boiled egg 60

Chicken breast cubes 40

Salad 160

Ranch dressing 60

Tea w 3 oz lemonade 34

Pork chop 130

Asparagus 25

Mushrooms 20

2 tbs butter 20

1 tbs olive oil 100

6 oz milk 110

11 potato chips 160

1154 approx calories

3/10/2013

Laughing Cow cream cheese 20

Tom’s Bagel 110

Tomato 30

Wheat bread 100

Turkey bacon 50

Milk 160

Schwann’s Oreo cookie 280

Jam 50

Popcorn 320

Pork chop and cucumbers 150

1290 approx calories

3/11/2013 weight, 209- 10 lbs lost- yay!  Have energy like crazy and NOT hungry.  Comes from eating 80% whole foods and exercising.  Woot!  Woot! 

 

It Isn't about "Calories In Calories Out."

It isn’t “Calories in Calories Out.”

Losing weight at the most simple scientific level is-  calories in calories out.  The Center for Disease Control validates this statement and defines it this way- “Overweight and obesity result from an energy imbalance. This involves eating too many calories and not getting enough physical activity.” Agreed.  Yes!  That’s the science.

We know the science behind how weight is lost.  We also know what to do to lose weight; fitness trainers, doctors, nutritionists and a slew of weight loss gurus, including celebrities on infomercials, make sure we know what nutrition (or lack thereof), supplements, tricks and exercises we need to have or do to lose weight. The tools are there for us as never before in history, indeed! In fact, since I first posted on Face book quite a few friends have suggested some really useful ones (Thanks so much!). So, with such a bountiful buffet of tools so plentiful and so diverse to choose from, shouldn’t anyone and everyone be able to lose weight and keep it off?  We have better-than-ever tools, we have the science; what’s the missing part? Why do we gain weight and why can’t we keep it off?  Aha!  So it isn’t simply calories in and calories out!  There’s another huge piece here-   It’s about getting to the Big Why.  Light bulb on:  The Big Why is the key to all habit change.

So what exactly is the Big Why?  Why do we gain weight?  Why can’t we lose it or when we do, why do we gain it back?  It could be very easy to say the Big Why is because of stress, depression, boredom, laziness, etc.-  those seem to be the favorite terms tossed about in conversation.  But, there are myriad life-altering experiences that cause folks to over eat, gain weight and fail at diet after diet after diet…you get the picture.  Even that statement’s just too broad and all encompassing-  a telescope view of a vast universe.  Get out the microscope, because actually the Big Why is: We use food as the cure all, the panacea, and the super-hero to solve problems or to save us from some “thing” time and time again-  from stress, loneliness, pain, procrastination, victimization, etc.…you get the picture again.  We don’t eat because we’re stressed-  we eat because we GET SOMETHING OUT OF IT every time we run to food when we’re stressed. And to lose weight permanently, you’ve got to discover your Big Why.  There’s only one way to discover what food is “doing” for you and that’s by understanding yourself like you never have before.  By digging around, sleuthing out clues, observing yourself, analyzing what you find, and puttin’ those good old critical thinking skills to work.  You become a detective; you look inward instead of outward to solve the Big Why.  That’s the great news- it’s all solvable!  When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.  The habit of food as a cure all is solved.  I’ll blog the details in upcoming posts.

As Socrates said, “know thyself.”  That’s the key, that’s the golden ticket to finding out what makes us tick, or in this case makes us use food as a cure for all. And once discovered, we can create our best authentic selves free from self-defeating “food is my cure” behaviors. Let’s bullet some Big Why behaviors right now: I have seven!  In a later post we’ll dissect them, tear them apart and analyze them under a microscope (Once I mined my Big Whys I put an action plan together and you can see what happened next because you’re reading this blog).  Know right now, that if you’re obese, you most likely have more than one Big Why; investigate carefully.  Here are mine: Notice that none are the usual suspects (depression, boredom, stress) – that’s why you don’t want to quickly categorize yours and move on.  Observe yourself.  Be honest.  Look deep.  Watch what happens when you eat.

Big Why: I use food as my cure, my super-hero because…

.Culture  …this is the way I am and that’s all there is to it! 

First know this: No one person can make another person feel, think, be, or become a certain way. We all decide what emotion or behavior we assign to events in our lives.  We decide it all.  That being said, sometimes we believe we have been taught certain behaviors.  Because we believe we’ve been taught, until we change the belief-  we have.

The two beliefs I created and accepted: 1) I was taught by my mother that the way to make someone feel special is to cook an abundance and variety of foods for them, especially their favorite dishes and treats.  I was taught by a favorite aunt that the best events involve food.  We called her events “feeds.”  There was much laughter, love and closeness at these feasts.  The point was always to be together as a loving family, but we added eat, eat, eat to the festivities.  Being at these “feeds” re-enforced in me that food equals love, and boy have I showered a ton of “love” on people.   My religious culture and rural living culture also taught me that food is the center of all events!

2) The medical community points to genetics, diseases, age, etc. and the statistics that highlight how hard it is to lose weight.  These hold truth, absolutely.  But for me to decide that what they say is who I am is to give away my own power to make decisions about my health and give up losing weight in the name of authorities and statistics.  This was a belief I adopted and owned.

.Avoiding …whenever I want to avoid a task or avoid thinking about something I eat.  Because it's useful and important-  "I can't do that disagreeable thing right now-  I have to eat and get some nourishment!"  This is escapism (a word overused by struggling people)-  “I eat because I want to escape!”  Dig around to see from what.  I use food to escape from disagreeable tasks or even thinking about tackling disagreeable tasks.  So if there’s something I don’t necessarily want to do-  bring on the food!

.Perfectionism …it’s all or nothing.  If I can’t be a perfect specimen of health or fitness; or if I make one diet mishap then I give up, or better yet, I won’t try at all.  That says it all.  Especially the “why try” part. 

.Organizing…when there is chaos all around me, eating is an orderly, organized task that is easy to create, process and complete; it makes me feel like I’ve accomplished so much.  You know, assembling the sandwich successfully, cleaning up the prep area and then taking bite by bite.  It’s super focus, it’s organization, it’s success of a micro-project.  Voile!

.Fabulousness…I can take any situation from fun to fabulous by simply adding food!  Never thought maybe the event itself could be fabulous without the food...hmmm.

.Self-love… I give of myself until nothing is left. I suffer from I’m-not-as-important-as-others, I’m-not-as-valuable-as-others thinking.  But, I can show love or value to myself by giving myself what I want to eat, when I want to eat it and in the quantity I choose.

.Procrastination… in these two ways:  1) I can avoid the fear of failure.  2) When perfectionism tells me I’ve failed today I become overly optimistic, throw in the towel, and procrastinate until tomorrow.

.__________(You fill-in-the-blank): (You may discover your own personal Big Why).

Those are the 7 Big Whys in my life.  So now, cumulatively, and without even trying, my whole world revolves around food.  It’s the cure!  It’s the answer!  It’s the good time!  It’s become the unconscious focus of my life. It’s my super-hero!  Or at least it was… I’ve successfully created a new paradigm because I’m aware.  I am acutely aware when one of the Big Whys rears its ugly little head so I can meet it face to face.  You see, I successfully changed the Big Whys before I started my Optimum Health plan.  I’m now at a point where the habit change comes in. Now that I’ve put a weight loss plan together, I know these little ponies will start bucking like broncs at the rodeo.  They won't be happy about the change; but I’m ready for 'em (gosh, if I had a spittoon I’d spit a ringer in it right now just for added effect!  Whaa-ding! )!

Before I go on, I want to point out that there are always White-Knucklers among us.  These folks are thin, they exercise, they count every calorie, they worry about how they look incessantly, and they live on “diet” food.  But, they are also plagued by the Big Why.  The White-Knucklers keep the super-hero locked in a cage and have for a long, long time.  They’ve even given him a name:  Will Power (attempt at humor…ta,da,ching!). They don’t understand how to be free or how to live an authentic life either-  just like us obese folks.  Their whole world, cumulatively, unconsciously and without even trying revolves around food, too!  So here we all are together!  One happy family!

Next post:  WHAT WE THINK ABOUT EXPANDS! (insert dramatic music here).  If you’ve ever pulled the sheets over your head in your own darkened bedroom because “something” fictitious is about to jump out and get you, then you know how powerful thinking can be!  Next post will talk about the power of self talk in habit changes.

Thanks for your support-  know that I support you, too!

The Weekly Diary

The Weekly Diary

Each time I update the Weekly Diary I'll include weight (when I weigh myself), food, exercise, adjustments and thoughts.  Note that I eat 80% or more whole foods (not frankenfoods- the processed stuff; including "diet" anything.), exercise 6 days a week, and don't binge.  These are my 3 non-negotiables from my plan. "But, what if something happens?!" you ask. Then it is history; the moment happens and is over- so live in the present and move forward.  Reflect, live in the present and move forward.

2/21/2013
Exercise: Kiddie-bits (walking and moving like you did when you were a kid...all day long: not using chair arms, stair handrails, your joints, etc., moving fast to get somewhere, making every muscle movement count.)  I am not home as often as I thought I would be, and all my exercise plans revolve around my being home in the morning and the evening.  I am revamping this plan.  I ordered a 90-day work-out DVD set quite a while before I put my plan into action; it hasn't arrived yet.
2 pieces wheat toast with avocado spread
Blackberry tea
Chef Salad
Steak kabob
String cheese
Zucchini, onions, peppers
8 corn chips
Plenty of water
Calories- approx 1398

2/22/13
Exercise:  Kiddie-bits (hoped my 90-day exercise regime had arrived in the mail-  didn't.  Kiddie-bits is a great plan, but optimum health will come by way of a rigorous plan.).
Scrambled eggs with ham and cheese, toasted muffin
Chai tea with honey
Salmon salad with red onion, artichokes, vinaigrette
Roast beef, carrots, onions
small wheat roll, butter
Plenty of water
Calories- approx 1285

2/23/13
Exercise: Tae Bo video, Kiddie-bits.  I love the old Tae Bo video better, may have to pick it up.
2 egg omelet, zucchini, yellow squash, onion, turkey bacon
Rib-eye steak (yeah baby! Love these-  everything on my menus I LOVE.  I only eat what I love!)
Zucchini, squash, onion, sauteed
Black plum
Avocado sandwich
Cottage Cheese
Calories:  approx 1472

2/24/2013
Exercise: Wii dancing, kiddie-bits
(this food is in no particular order)
Oatmeal with butter and banana slices
Popcorn
Rib-eye
Cabbage and carrot salad with dressing
2 carrots with hummus
Mocha drink
Turkey slice
Green tea
Calories- approx 1670

2/25/2013
Exercise:  Biggest Loser Boot camp, Kiddie-bits
2 wheat toasts with avocado spread
Mocha drink
Greek yogurt with blueberry and granola
Multiple veggie from salad bar with dressing
Tomato basil soup
Popcorn
Turkey, hummus sandwich
Calories: approx 1370

2/26/2013
Exercise: kiddie-bits (signed up for a membership at Planet Fitness for when I'm in town)
2 eggs on toast with 2 turkey bacon
Mocha drink
Turkey, beef and hummus sandwich
Spinach, blueberry, green tea smoothie with honey
Modified Cafe Rio salad
Calories:  approx 1530

2/27/2013
Exercise: Jillian Michaels 90-day work-out.  It finally came in the mail.  I researched and purchased this work-out plan for two reasons:  I am bored without diversity in my work-outs and won't stick to them.  I thought about it ahead of time and know that to be true from past experience. This DVD work-out plan changes up every week.  And-  I've watched Jillian on The Biggest Loser and know that she has a huge caring heart along with her steely approach. I feel like she is a "friend."
30 minutes strength
30 minutes cardio
Oatmeal, butter, banana slices
Chocolate milk (work-out recovery)
Turkey, roast beef and hummus sandwich
Sweet tea
Apple and a boiled egg
Chef salad
Calories:  approx 1100

2/28/2013
Exercise:  Jillian 30 min cardio, kiddie-bits (Busy day!  Running to appointments all day!)
2 wheat toast, 2 eggs, 2 turkey bacon
Apple and boiled egg
Missed lunch!  That's a no-no!
Denver omelet, toast, fruit
Calories:  approx 920

3/1/2013
Exercise: In Vegas today.
Scrambled eggs
Oatmeal with pinch of brown sugar and raisins
Watermelon
Muffaletta
Mocha drink
Greek Salad with dressing
Green tea
Calories:  approx 1885

3/2/2013
Exercise: 30 min Jillian work-out ( I call them Blast-outs).  Noticed today that I'm NOT hungry. Fascinating and cool.  But-  I am researching and my little bucking pony wants me to munch for focus and organization.  So I thin-sliced a large cucumber and munched hard and loud to my heart's content.  Bucking pony went back to the corral.  I felt satisfied.)
Wheat toast, turkey bacon, 2 eggs
Portabella mushroom sauteed in butter
Milk with chocolate flavoring (1% milk with just enough chocolate milk to add a yummy flavor)
100% grape juice
Banana with peanut butter
Pistachios
1 cucumber thin-sliced with red onion, balsamic vinegar, dill, lemon pepper and sea salt
Turkey and cheese sandwich
Milk
Calories:  approx 1372