News Flash! Woman Caught in Diet Mentality Trap!

I’ve planned and written my positive self-talk scripts for almost every personal habit change scenario possible.  So imagine my shock when I was caught off guard and completely blind-sided by becoming a dieter!  Yes, my weight-loss and optimum health plan has been so successful that I got sucked into believing that perhaps I should put together an even better action plan for myself and get fit faster along with shedding pounds at lightning speed!  My optimum health plan started evolving and morphing from a habit and behavior change plan to a get-thin-quick diet plan!  AHHHH!  Unbelievable.  The scary entity grew like a science lab creature in those 50’s horror films! (Insert footage of screaming woman here!)

 

Here’s what happened:  I saw pounds dropping as my behaviors changed and the way I thought about food changed.  My love of exercise grew and I threw off my use of food to solve problems and comfort me. As the pounds started dropping I became more interested in the movement on the scale than the fact that I wasn’t “using” food.  I failed to give recognition to my successful thinking and behavior changes.  Soon my excitement in becoming the new “me” became misdirected and I found myself looking closely at carbs, calories and diet tricks.  All the time I was telling myself that perhaps I would “diet” just for a few days for the fun of it and really drop some extra pounds. Before I knew it I started having cravings for foods and was becoming frustrated and conflicted.  I began counting calories so I could have more of the foods I started to deem as “forbidden”.  I started setting unrealistic goals for myself and before I knew it I was dieting and being tossed to and fro in the stormy seas all dieters face-  hating exercise yet feeling tied to it, craving food and eating bare calories and carbs at the same time, striving to be thin and in shape.  It was a nightmare!  On top of it all I became stressed, depressed and overwhelmed by many other aspects of my life.  I became negative and grumpy and loved wallowing in it and pulling others into the mud pit with me!  Yup, all a recipe for disaster.  

Thank heaven I received a tap on my shoulder and the disaster was averted.  As I was in the midst of a diet frenzy (exactly like a great white shark!), I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder and one of my sensible little voices calmly said, “Hey, what are you doing?”  I recognized the voice as one of my habit change scripts telling me that I am free from using food as a super-hero and free from dieting as a misdirected attempt to solve problems, so what was I doing?!  I suddenly remembered that dieting isn’t the cure for being obese.  Dieting is a tool that can be as misused as prescription drugs!  I came to my senses as if slapped in the face, but not without feeling a bit humiliated that I’d wandered off the path and fallen into a trap that I knew was there all along!  I’m lucky that I held my ground and didn’t derail myself-   because I was close!  On second thought, it wasn’t luck at all; it all worked out because I stopped myself, held the ground I'd already won, reassessed, readjusted and readdressed.  You see I'd previously taught those clever little voices what to do and say and thankfully they pulled through and tapped me on the shoulder! Whew! Two months in, close to 20 pounds down and feeling the strength of soul and body! Wahooo! You can do it too!

Hold the Ground You've Already Won!

Hold the ground you’ve already won!

Don’t be thrown off track when your best laid plans seem derailed! The world of life change isn’t a fantasy land where fairy tales naturally have happy endings and all is well.  It’s a world of reality where goals are outlined, scripts written and the best of plans set into action; and all are at the mercy of your own thoughts, actions and emotions.  The happy ending is there for the taking, but it is usually not a natural occurrence, in fact it’s quite unnatural to step outside of long held beliefs, behaviors and actions and move to a different space.  It can seem like traveling to a new planet where everything is foreign and confusing.

 

Confusion begins when a battle seems to ensue between wanting to change old toxic habits and clawing to hold on to them. We feel like we are split personalities: one personality tells us to do what we’ve always done and run to the places we feel most comfortable.  The other tells us that the places we’ve always sought refuge in the past aren’t comfortable places at all.  They’re dark dens where we can have only a few moments or hours of numbing ourselves from our toxic beliefs and actions before we’re launched back into the glaring light and the reality that we haven’t changed, we haven’t moved; we're inert…or worse-  we’re slipping slowly backwards... 

Realize this confusion is going to happen.  This will happen.  Traveling to a place of change-  the new planet if you will, does NOT feel natural so don’t let it take you by surprise. Once you understand this dynamic the battle isn’t so terrifying.  The conflict part IS natural, so hold the ground you’ve already won.  Rather than brutally fighting, be gentle with yourself.  Calm yourself. Draw on the non-negotiable terms from your action plan.  Become acutely aware of your own entrenched behaviors as they emerge.  Awareness is the key to realizing that you are not failing when you feel conflicted.  You are still on board and you are still in charge of your own thinking and your own decisions.  You control how it all goes down so don’t waste precious energy blindly fighting your way through it. Understand it for what it is so you can make a truce and hold the ground you’ve already won while you reassess, readdress, readjust and then progress forward in making your habit change once again.