Hold the Ground You've Already Won!

Hold the ground you’ve already won!

Don’t be thrown off track when your best laid plans seem derailed! The world of life change isn’t a fantasy land where fairy tales naturally have happy endings and all is well.  It’s a world of reality where goals are outlined, scripts written and the best of plans set into action; and all are at the mercy of your own thoughts, actions and emotions.  The happy ending is there for the taking, but it is usually not a natural occurrence, in fact it’s quite unnatural to step outside of long held beliefs, behaviors and actions and move to a different space.  It can seem like traveling to a new planet where everything is foreign and confusing.

 

Confusion begins when a battle seems to ensue between wanting to change old toxic habits and clawing to hold on to them. We feel like we are split personalities: one personality tells us to do what we’ve always done and run to the places we feel most comfortable.  The other tells us that the places we’ve always sought refuge in the past aren’t comfortable places at all.  They’re dark dens where we can have only a few moments or hours of numbing ourselves from our toxic beliefs and actions before we’re launched back into the glaring light and the reality that we haven’t changed, we haven’t moved; we're inert…or worse-  we’re slipping slowly backwards... 

Realize this confusion is going to happen.  This will happen.  Traveling to a place of change-  the new planet if you will, does NOT feel natural so don’t let it take you by surprise. Once you understand this dynamic the battle isn’t so terrifying.  The conflict part IS natural, so hold the ground you’ve already won.  Rather than brutally fighting, be gentle with yourself.  Calm yourself. Draw on the non-negotiable terms from your action plan.  Become acutely aware of your own entrenched behaviors as they emerge.  Awareness is the key to realizing that you are not failing when you feel conflicted.  You are still on board and you are still in charge of your own thinking and your own decisions.  You control how it all goes down so don’t waste precious energy blindly fighting your way through it. Understand it for what it is so you can make a truce and hold the ground you’ve already won while you reassess, readdress, readjust and then progress forward in making your habit change once again.