It Isn't about "Calories In Calories Out."

It isn’t “Calories in Calories Out.”

Losing weight at the most simple scientific level is-  calories in calories out.  The Center for Disease Control validates this statement and defines it this way- “Overweight and obesity result from an energy imbalance. This involves eating too many calories and not getting enough physical activity.” Agreed.  Yes!  That’s the science.

We know the science behind how weight is lost.  We also know what to do to lose weight; fitness trainers, doctors, nutritionists and a slew of weight loss gurus, including celebrities on infomercials, make sure we know what nutrition (or lack thereof), supplements, tricks and exercises we need to have or do to lose weight. The tools are there for us as never before in history, indeed! In fact, since I first posted on Face book quite a few friends have suggested some really useful ones (Thanks so much!). So, with such a bountiful buffet of tools so plentiful and so diverse to choose from, shouldn’t anyone and everyone be able to lose weight and keep it off?  We have better-than-ever tools, we have the science; what’s the missing part? Why do we gain weight and why can’t we keep it off?  Aha!  So it isn’t simply calories in and calories out!  There’s another huge piece here-   It’s about getting to the Big Why.  Light bulb on:  The Big Why is the key to all habit change.

So what exactly is the Big Why?  Why do we gain weight?  Why can’t we lose it or when we do, why do we gain it back?  It could be very easy to say the Big Why is because of stress, depression, boredom, laziness, etc.-  those seem to be the favorite terms tossed about in conversation.  But, there are myriad life-altering experiences that cause folks to over eat, gain weight and fail at diet after diet after diet…you get the picture.  Even that statement’s just too broad and all encompassing-  a telescope view of a vast universe.  Get out the microscope, because actually the Big Why is: We use food as the cure all, the panacea, and the super-hero to solve problems or to save us from some “thing” time and time again-  from stress, loneliness, pain, procrastination, victimization, etc.…you get the picture again.  We don’t eat because we’re stressed-  we eat because we GET SOMETHING OUT OF IT every time we run to food when we’re stressed. And to lose weight permanently, you’ve got to discover your Big Why.  There’s only one way to discover what food is “doing” for you and that’s by understanding yourself like you never have before.  By digging around, sleuthing out clues, observing yourself, analyzing what you find, and puttin’ those good old critical thinking skills to work.  You become a detective; you look inward instead of outward to solve the Big Why.  That’s the great news- it’s all solvable!  When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.  The habit of food as a cure all is solved.  I’ll blog the details in upcoming posts.

As Socrates said, “know thyself.”  That’s the key, that’s the golden ticket to finding out what makes us tick, or in this case makes us use food as a cure for all. And once discovered, we can create our best authentic selves free from self-defeating “food is my cure” behaviors. Let’s bullet some Big Why behaviors right now: I have seven!  In a later post we’ll dissect them, tear them apart and analyze them under a microscope (Once I mined my Big Whys I put an action plan together and you can see what happened next because you’re reading this blog).  Know right now, that if you’re obese, you most likely have more than one Big Why; investigate carefully.  Here are mine: Notice that none are the usual suspects (depression, boredom, stress) – that’s why you don’t want to quickly categorize yours and move on.  Observe yourself.  Be honest.  Look deep.  Watch what happens when you eat.

Big Why: I use food as my cure, my super-hero because…

.Culture  …this is the way I am and that’s all there is to it! 

First know this: No one person can make another person feel, think, be, or become a certain way. We all decide what emotion or behavior we assign to events in our lives.  We decide it all.  That being said, sometimes we believe we have been taught certain behaviors.  Because we believe we’ve been taught, until we change the belief-  we have.

The two beliefs I created and accepted: 1) I was taught by my mother that the way to make someone feel special is to cook an abundance and variety of foods for them, especially their favorite dishes and treats.  I was taught by a favorite aunt that the best events involve food.  We called her events “feeds.”  There was much laughter, love and closeness at these feasts.  The point was always to be together as a loving family, but we added eat, eat, eat to the festivities.  Being at these “feeds” re-enforced in me that food equals love, and boy have I showered a ton of “love” on people.   My religious culture and rural living culture also taught me that food is the center of all events!

2) The medical community points to genetics, diseases, age, etc. and the statistics that highlight how hard it is to lose weight.  These hold truth, absolutely.  But for me to decide that what they say is who I am is to give away my own power to make decisions about my health and give up losing weight in the name of authorities and statistics.  This was a belief I adopted and owned.

.Avoiding …whenever I want to avoid a task or avoid thinking about something I eat.  Because it's useful and important-  "I can't do that disagreeable thing right now-  I have to eat and get some nourishment!"  This is escapism (a word overused by struggling people)-  “I eat because I want to escape!”  Dig around to see from what.  I use food to escape from disagreeable tasks or even thinking about tackling disagreeable tasks.  So if there’s something I don’t necessarily want to do-  bring on the food!

.Perfectionism …it’s all or nothing.  If I can’t be a perfect specimen of health or fitness; or if I make one diet mishap then I give up, or better yet, I won’t try at all.  That says it all.  Especially the “why try” part. 

.Organizing…when there is chaos all around me, eating is an orderly, organized task that is easy to create, process and complete; it makes me feel like I’ve accomplished so much.  You know, assembling the sandwich successfully, cleaning up the prep area and then taking bite by bite.  It’s super focus, it’s organization, it’s success of a micro-project.  Voile!

.Fabulousness…I can take any situation from fun to fabulous by simply adding food!  Never thought maybe the event itself could be fabulous without the food...hmmm.

.Self-love… I give of myself until nothing is left. I suffer from I’m-not-as-important-as-others, I’m-not-as-valuable-as-others thinking.  But, I can show love or value to myself by giving myself what I want to eat, when I want to eat it and in the quantity I choose.

.Procrastination… in these two ways:  1) I can avoid the fear of failure.  2) When perfectionism tells me I’ve failed today I become overly optimistic, throw in the towel, and procrastinate until tomorrow.

.__________(You fill-in-the-blank): (You may discover your own personal Big Why).

Those are the 7 Big Whys in my life.  So now, cumulatively, and without even trying, my whole world revolves around food.  It’s the cure!  It’s the answer!  It’s the good time!  It’s become the unconscious focus of my life. It’s my super-hero!  Or at least it was… I’ve successfully created a new paradigm because I’m aware.  I am acutely aware when one of the Big Whys rears its ugly little head so I can meet it face to face.  You see, I successfully changed the Big Whys before I started my Optimum Health plan.  I’m now at a point where the habit change comes in. Now that I’ve put a weight loss plan together, I know these little ponies will start bucking like broncs at the rodeo.  They won't be happy about the change; but I’m ready for 'em (gosh, if I had a spittoon I’d spit a ringer in it right now just for added effect!  Whaa-ding! )!

Before I go on, I want to point out that there are always White-Knucklers among us.  These folks are thin, they exercise, they count every calorie, they worry about how they look incessantly, and they live on “diet” food.  But, they are also plagued by the Big Why.  The White-Knucklers keep the super-hero locked in a cage and have for a long, long time.  They’ve even given him a name:  Will Power (attempt at humor…ta,da,ching!). They don’t understand how to be free or how to live an authentic life either-  just like us obese folks.  Their whole world, cumulatively, unconsciously and without even trying revolves around food, too!  So here we all are together!  One happy family!

Next post:  WHAT WE THINK ABOUT EXPANDS! (insert dramatic music here).  If you’ve ever pulled the sheets over your head in your own darkened bedroom because “something” fictitious is about to jump out and get you, then you know how powerful thinking can be!  Next post will talk about the power of self talk in habit changes.

Thanks for your support-  know that I support you, too!